haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
