Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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