My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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