we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
