I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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