Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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