I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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