My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
