I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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