is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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