We're facebook friends in real life
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
