So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she woke up with a sticky ear
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
