i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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