dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize