You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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