if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
40s are totally the cure
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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