So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm eating all of the evidence.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
