I got chris browned last night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
