Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
