You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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