im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
