WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Congratulations! We have a period
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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