??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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