I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we're making bets on your personal life
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
