corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
