I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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