My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
