Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
