Define "chronic" masturbator.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
