PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
