How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
