I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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