I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
