this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize