This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
