these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
