Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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