no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
