i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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