I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Shame - the story of my life.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
