I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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