It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
