oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize