You can't special order awesome
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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