dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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