Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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