Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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