i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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