Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
pray to the hookup gods
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
