Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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