She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
