:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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