It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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