I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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