so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
