I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize