If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
