I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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