This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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