His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
