we have officially lost it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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