she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.