Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
