All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
