Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
