I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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