i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
