Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
